Lori -- Wife and mother, taking a government-sanctioned maternity break from her personal training gig to birth, rear and guide her son as he begins his life and ends hers, a.k.a. “eating the metaphorical bon bon.”

Nicholas -- Newest addition to the family, born happy, healthy and eager to start blaming his parents for ruining his life. Predicted first word – Why?

Brummie -- Elder female feline, happy with warm belly rubs and cold bowls of milk. Tabby in coat, Tiger in heart.

Maya -- Deadly-but-delicious younger putty tat, with a soft face to melt the hardest heart and a proclivity toward urinating on Mom and Dad while they sleep.

Michael -- Husband and father, busy writing, producing and directing the next great American sitcom, if at least in his head. Loves to multi-task while on the phone, often by dusting while yapping.