Here is Lori, lying in her hospital bed, with Nicholas snug as a bug in a rug. But notice the curtain, just next to her bed. You may think that it's a simple, nylon curtain allowing two new Moms to have some sense of privacy. What you can't understand is that this curtain hides the face of true evil...

Lori's roommate, who will remain unnamed for legal reasons [i.e., she'd kick my ass if she read this!], has to be the worst roommate that any human being could ever NOT hope to sleep next to. Lori wakes up at 2:00 a.m. to the sound of WWE wrestling blaring on the television, even though ER [Evil Roommate for the sake of brevity] is snoring her 5 ft. 11 in. ass off. Her friends and family use the room's bathroom, even though it is clearly marked Patient Bathroom, too lazy to make the trip down the hall to the public bathroom. Her boyfriend and her argue at 2:30 a.m. over the nature of their fractious relationship, despite the presence of another Mom on the other side of the curtain who's been cut into. She chomps on bag after bag of chips, despite being morbidly obese and diabetic. She yaps on the phone at the top of her lungs, hangs up and then continues the conversation with herself. She picks food off of other patients' trays, after they've been returned to the Pantry tray and are set for the garbage. And her baby is 10 lbs., 5 oz., making Nicholas look like a pip squeak. All we can say is "Wow!" and pray that Lori and Nicholas will truly be released tomorrow morning by 10:00 a.m. Washington Heights will have never looked so good to Lori, and I'm with her 100%. Other people can suck!