...Daddy gets both puked and pissed on [see picture below...]

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Michael, what's with the ridiculous orange boxers?", and to that, all I can say is I wasn't thinking. Of being photographed at least. And for the purposes of full disclosure, I must say that these two events listed are not concurrent as the Daddy Incident happened several days ago. But we're not looking to do 60 Minutes here people. We're looking for the greater truth, or the higher narrative, so to say [or at least just something funny!] We find the two incidents to be indicative of the future which very well may lie ahead for both of us. Mommy, all smiles and kisses, raising her beautiful new son in a warm envelope of unconditional love and compassion. Daddy, just trying to get through the day without getting defecated on. Ah, parenthood... If I knew all this beforehand, I would have worn tighter undies for 20 years and kept the boys a bit too hot, if you know what I mean. Too late now.